Undulate In My Perception

Drinkin as usual.

2006-07-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

Drinky-poo with me and Nicole @ Seacret's

Funnin' in the sunnin'. We lay out for hours.

Nicole and meeeee strikin' a pose.

Me the day after my pukefest at Seacret's. Someone slipped roofies in our drinks. I wish I was kidding you.

I got the jeez ew shitz end of the deal that day! (I almost made a seperate post for this one picture as I knew everyone would have a field day with it).

Nicole and me at dinner. I had yummy salmon.

Nicole and I looking hawt before Seacret's yet again.

I could not find any balls.

Me and Frank the Tank! I heart him!!

Sippy sippy

You know you wanna party with me!!!!!

Me and Cousin partying hard in Federal Hill

2006-07-28T13:25:00.000-04:00

Me and Cousin (my roomie for those unfamiliar) livin' it up downtown.

"I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can.."

2 drunks!!!

Me and Cousin should totally be on 8th and Ocean.

Haaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaay! So gone!!

more fotos later..

2006-07-28T13:17:00.000-04:00

I have more but effing blogger won't let me post fotoz all the sudden. Bastards.

Drunken Times in Ocean City at Seacrets

2006-07-28T12:54:00.000-04:00

We WILL drunk dial you. OH YES, we WILL drunk dial you.

Hayyyyyyyyyyy! You konw I'm double drinkin the big bamboos!!

Me and a random

My infamous chug through a straw face:

Nicole and me (makin faces at u)

Me kissing my b.f.f.!! haha

haaaa-aaaay. Just a little tipsy.

Runnin away in dance mode from this random guy. You'd run too.

CHEERS! Sweet tarts shooters!! My fav!

Muah! You know you wanna kiss us.

2006-07-25T05:02:00.000-04:00

I used to ache for you
It was all I would do
All I would do
It was all I could do.

Tears from songs
For a call
Longing to belong
To you

There was fire there
Hot and painful
But now that flare
Has simmered

2006-07-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

I have someone
But it isn't you
So why do I
Want you too?
You're ideal
Prince Charming
Your voice your presence
It's so unarming
Talking to you
Is easy and hard
I'm overwhelmed with joy
I let go of my guard
When you speak to me
I get a feeling like this..
I want to shut your mouth
With an insane kind of kiss
I sit here and think
And freeze at this thought
How you really don't know
Something you ought
Sinning I may be
Scandal I wonder
Because now I want
To start some thunder
Not come up for air
Not ever a breath
I may have to take this
Thought to my death
Or maybe not
Maybe we will be
Maybe in time Someday. We'll see.
Into you
Is what I am
It's only us
Forget them

fotos

2006-06-25T15:54:00.000-04:00

Go to:

http://www.malibuslakeside.com

Click on "Photos."

Click on the ones from the date May 20, 2006

Find pictures: DSCF4960.jpg, DSCF4961.jpg, and DSCF4963.jpg

Me and my peeps.

I'm one of those people who laughs at my own jokes.

2006-06-11T21:52:00.000-04:00

What's the deal with everyone being so frumpy?

I mean we all have bad days, but I know not everyone in that tannin salon on Friday was pissed off at somethin.

Let me explain:

I was committing to unlimited tanning on Friday evening, filling out the paperwork, signing my life away, etc. "_____Tanning Salon is not responsible if you die from overexposure.."
And all that jazz.

So anyways...I scoot myself to the side of the front counter so that others can get their tan on and there's a lady next to me tellin the girl at the counter her name, etc. There's like 2 other women behind her in line. There's another line of a couple of people beside line number one, as there are 2 girls behind the counter. There's also someone sitting on the bench waiting.

So there's this hand mannequin...it's like from the elbow down to the hand, and it's standing upright to show off "nail covers." Nail covers, for guys who don't know and girls who should know, are those little "finger" things that cover your nails when you tan so that the tanning bulb rays don't discolor your freshly manicured nail colors.
So I, being the bright girl that I am, accidentally knock it over when I slide my wallet aside to make room on the counter.
BANG!
The hand mannequin goes flyin across the counter.

I immediately start laughing, because this is FUNNY.

I sit the hand back up, saying, "HAHAHA..I KNOCKED OVER THE HAND!!"

What could have been a funny event for us all to laugh about and clear all the strange indifference in the air was brutally DENIED!!

The woman in line beside me just looked at me stone-faced. The girls behind the counter looked like they didn't even notice that it happened b/c they were so busy..
Everyone else just glanced at me, or didn't look up.

The potential funny moment (for me) became a nerd retard moment (for me) when no one laughed with me.

I MEAN HOW IS THAT NOT FUNNY THAT I KNOCKED OVER THE HAND? I mean even hearing myself say "ahaha..I knocked over the hand!" was funny in my book.

Anyways, some people don't find the dumb things I do funny. If I witnessed some other girl doing that, I'd laugh with her.

I guess it's sort of like how Cousin thinks something's seriously wrong with me because I Instant Message him from my computer when he's home..right in the next room on his computer.

I FIND THAT SO FUCKING HILARIOUS.

He thinks it's dumb.

shame

2006-06-10T18:29:00.000-04:00

It's time I come clean.

I've been cheating.

On Blogger.

For MySpace.

luv
Laur

=)

2006-05-13T18:35:00.000-04:00

I'M CURED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Quil n' Coke - a real drinker's drink.

2006-05-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

Maybe if I cough hard enough my tonsil will just come flying out and I won't have to worry about it anymore!!!!

The Cepacol throat spray box said "great citrus taste!!!" A lie indeed.
Plus it doesn't work and everytime I spray it in I gag it back out. My boyfriend said that's because I chase it with soda it's not going to work but no one else understands the crap taste! NO ONE!!

He looked really skurd yesterday before I left for work. He was brushing his teeth and I came up behind him and got my Dayquil out of the medicine cabinet. I've gotten to the point where the little plastic shot cup they give you and a spoon are for mere peasants. I simply drank it straight from the bottle. He nonchalantly looked up into the mirror while brushing and his eyes got all big and toothpaste flew out from his laughter.

Hey I mean I gotta do what I gotta do. Of course I chased it with Coke. Fuck a Rum n' Coke.

Quil n' Coke.

don't get high on your own Benadryl supply

2006-05-08T15:37:00.000-04:00

Can one get high from taking too much Benadryl? I'm beginning to feel all Xanax-ish.

It first occurred to me when I was carrying my laundry downstairs to the (flinch) COMMUNITY laundry room. I suddenly found it a struggle to carry my basket of towels. I had to bring my purse with me so that I could put my keys, dryer sheets, and quarters in something because I couldn't juggle everything in my hands.
Anyways I'm a tad shakey, drowsy I guess - but my eyes aren't tired.

By the way, my eyes are better now. No more confrickinjuntivitus.

I chose that picture to get the whole "loopy" looking effect goin' on.

sometimes I pick my nose

2006-05-07T22:26:00.000-04:00

I have NO fun stories from this weekend whatsoever. Why not? Haven't I been out this weekend?
NO.
And why not?
Because I have damn allergies that's why. Oh, and, not to mention, I had conjunctivitus (pink eye) in BOTH eyes all week last week.
So unless I want to go out looking like a sickly, diseased hooker, no - I stayed in.
I did absolutely nothing but swallow Nyquil like it was candy and sleep and read, sleep and read.

<----currently reading =)

So, I will paint you a little vignette, if you will, of what I did this weekend:

I felt like a real Nyquil-addict when I woke up this morning, immediately feeling around for the handle on my nightstand, eyes still shut (against my will, they were STUCK shut from my damn conjunctivitus goo that pasted them together the past week and counting), feeling for the Nyquil box inside. AHA! Found it, then I ripped open the next twin set of pills with my teeth, and felt on top the nightstand for my water. You know I was desperate when I didn't even muster the energy to get out of bed to refresh it. It was water sitting there in a mug from the night before, all warm.
Swallow.
Go back to sleep.
Get up again a few hours and do the same thing over again.
This was actually the schedule Saturday and Sunday.

I've taken like 5 different things to help my sore throat go away - and NOTHING has worked. I never get allergies anymore!!!! What the hell is going on this year??? I have a newfound hatred for pollen.
My boogers have been nonstop as well. I can have just freshly emptied them all out, and all I have to do is put my head in a downward position 5 minutes later and snot will come dripping back down. It's that kind that dries up in your sleep so when you wake up it's crusted to the sides of your nostrils.

Needless to say I feel beautiful these days.

Girls' Night Fotos

2006-05-06T13:41:00.000-04:00

Me and Kathleeny giving you a kiss. Note my cute Hello Kitty purse.

Me, my sister, and Ginger. What's up with the old man up there?

Me and my sister. My heeeero.

Wayyyyy too close up of Kathleeny and me.

Hey kids!

2006-05-06T13:19:00.000-04:00

I'm just really trying to focus on school and everything so I was debating on whether to even keep my blog in existance. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything good to say. So - you might say - then just don't post that day! Of course that's what I do. Then there's the thing where I want to treat this as a serious diary type thing - yet I constantly find myself saying - "I CAN'T PUT THAT!" There are just some things that I want to share, but yet I can't let myself share because A) Who knows who could stumble across something so personal about me, B) I'll feel wretched about myself if I REALLY tell all about how I sometimes feel, and most importantly - C) I feel conflicted with the fact that I want no holds barred but at the same time I can't possibly put all my shit out there.

And you may be confused because my blog was always one that was pretty lighthearted and fun and didn't delve much into the deep stuff.

It started out that way, where I'd post my poems and stuff. Those are personal, and yet, it's good because they don't share EXACTLY what is happening with me, they kind of just symbolize it.

I just at one point didn't feel like having it anymore and I felt like I couldn't just stop posting for a week or so and still have it. Because I figured, "hey, if I have nothing that I can share with strangers (and by strangers I hope those who read on a regular basis will take that word lightly as you aren't the same to me as some stranger off the street), then what's the point in even keeping it?"

I kind of felt like I was lying to myself and anyone who reads this because while everything I say is truthful, it was always the EASY truth. The fun, happy, not too deep truth.

Honestly, I could never tell ANYONE any of my deepest, darkest secrets except for my best friend.

But the hard part is - I WANT to. I want to be able to write here like I'd write in my own private journal. But this isn't at all private. I look at people who do share all and tell all, and I feel like they must be very secure in themselves to do such a thing. Not so much because some people may judge you for it, but because you run the risk of saying so much that there's nothing private about you at all.

And very, very importantly, I would never be able to share all and tell all out of respect for the people I love.
This is hypothetical: If I posted about a friend who annoyed me, how am I to know that this friend wouldn't somehow find my blog? If I posted about something I didn't like about my job, what if someone from my job found my blog? If I posted about drugs I've done in the past, what if a family member found my blog?

There are so many scenerios. I can't even post here about a serious argument I may have with my boyfriend. Why? Because he knows I had a blog and it would be pretty shitty of me in his eyes I'm sure if I posted to the world wide web about it. People do it ALL THE TIME. But I just can't be one of those people. I wouldn't want him to do that to me.

It's just hard because I feel like I can't express myself the way I'd really like to. Whenever I've ever kept a written journal at home I would want it hidden because the truth is, when I write I obviously would sometimes write about people who affect me in everyday life. And if someone were to come across it, someone I said something bad about or someone who would disapprove of some of the things I think, then what? It would suck, that's what.

So I still find myself conflicted.

If I keep writing it, I'll just continue to keep it light. I'll post pictures and funny stories about my girls' nights. I mean there's no rule it has to be juicy, right? But how I wish it could be. I could always go "anonymous" and post my shit, but the guilt would still be there and then I'd lose knowing the people I've gotten to know in the blogosphere.

I also don't want to stop reading the people's blogs who I've been reading since last October. I would definitely miss that. I already do, which is why I signed on today and wrote this.

2006-05-03T09:47:00.000-04:00

Don't worry I'll be back eventually.